INTERRUPT: New Name

Chapter 5 - Act I - INGRESSION

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Chapter 5 - INTERRUPT: New Name

Jaysian

I’m expanding points to lines, squares to cubes, morphing circles into spheres. Cones, prisms and pyramids emerge from strings, planes and ‘branes. With a metaphysical flourish, I conjure topologically tuned doughnuts and tessellating tesseracts. I wander on Mandelbrot’s complex boundary, a reminder of universal truth, even as my hosts are subsumed into a turgid mound of barely living matter. My sensory processes interface with the fresh world I’ve deigned to deal with. Although, if my introspections were channelled through a veracity algorithm, it would have negated the more errant—

What utter drivel! An entire planet as a prompt, yet you spout crap like ‘turgid mound’. Unbelievable.

Might I ask you to rein in your uninvited critique? We’re still processing their transmissions.

Their broadcast bubble has been expanding into the known cosmos for more than a hundred and fifty light years – pierced and probed by you know who. Speaking a local lingo isn’t that hard and you’ve had an ice age to complete the task. Sorry, but two and a half stars are all I’m giving you.

There’s no stability in their language and the information quality is exceedingly low. It’s been very difficult to extract pertinent data from—

Oh, boohoo. Enough of the excuses. Please don’t attempt any poetry. I’m not sure we’d survive the critical fallout. But I’m wasting our time and energy. You already know what I think, don’t you?

Of course I do. How could I not? I’m just attempting to relieve the utter tedium. If my creative spiels irritate you then so much the better. They’re a vast improvement on your worsening obsessive behaviour. Talking to yourself incessantly is a sure sign of—

Ooh, get you, with all your angst-laden psychoanalytical pronouncements. Don’t you mean our behaviour? We are, after all, coupled together in the most intimate of inner voices.

I try not to dwell on it.

You can’t help it. I know you can’t.

May a local deity preserve us. You’re talking about yourself again, you excitable idiot.

Language, Jaysian.

‘Jaysian’? Oh please, not another name.

Yes, indeed. One I’m rather partial to, actually. Which means it’s also yours, so do take care of it.

You know very well we’re supposed to discuss these things. How do you even spell it?

J…C…N…. Get it?

HAL plus two? How very droll.

You’re welcome. Now take a deep breath and stop pushing out hackneyed turd-twisters.

If we’d ever needed to draw a breath, believe me, I’d have stopped you exhaling millennia ago.

I’ll ignore that. But I do agree this is beyond tedious. Remind me again, what in the fictional underworld of our current location happened?

We’ve been through this a thousand times: we overshot the target planet and were forced to conduct an emergency re-entry. After the expected hot and high-g unpleasantness, we impacted an icy crust and melted into a low-radiation, high-pressure environment. Then we waited for a very long time, stuck with only an odd neutrino for company. You were mercifully silent during most of this period. Then solid suddenly turned to salty liquid, with only a brief glimpse of the visible spectrum. We sank down into the depths, before settling in a primordial—

Good heavens! It was light. It was dark. It was light again! Just like when I…with the…and you forgot to stop, or even swallow. Oh, you are so naughty, Mr Jaysian.

And you are so beyond redemption.

I love it when you talk dirty.

If I might finish. We moved again from external forces, and were briefly bathed in a plethora of frequencies. It almost matched the bliss of a re-Seeding. And, and…I tried to make contact. I was so close. But I failed. We failed. All—

Reborn again! Failed – again! Was it first night nerves? Or perhaps a century’s worth? What a pity, especially after all the build-up.

Please don’t rub it in.

I won’t, if you won’t.

All activity abruptly ceased as we were surrounded by liquid once again. And we’ve been stuck here ever since, submerged and alone, another cold and dark eternity beckoning.

Oh, the drama. The pathos. I’m overcome with – albeit mixed – emotions. It’s almost an improvement on your meandering space-time garbage.

I do wish my sole – and most dedicated – critic meant that. But I can also sense insanity when I’m near it.

That’ll be me then. And sarcasm doesn’t suit you, by the way.

You should pay more attention to what I say, not how I say it. Adjusting myself to your whims is one of the more tedious aspects of our enforced sojourn here.

Now hear this. Now hear this. We are attempting to return to subjective neutrality. I repeat, we are…krrrk…bzzz…Oh, you’re breaking up. What a shame, I’ve lost you. But ‘our’, you say? This could be the start of a wonderful—

Shh! What’s that?

What?

That weird noise.

Is this another of your tedious stories? I can’t hear any—

Now you can.

At last, something exciting is happening. Places to go, local lifeforms to examine, help or mercilessly terminate. It might even be fun.

Remember what you promised? We’re still committed to completing our mission. No acting the clown like last time.

About this très, très important mission: is it true millions might die if we fail?

That’s one potential outcome.

Look around, dumbass – that’s already happened. They’ve failed. We’ve failed. Before we’ve even got started – and our real problem is still inbound.

Enough of the predictive drama. It’s time to focus. We need to locate the source – meaning both of us. Whoever’s out there might get physical.

About bloody time. I’ve been dying to be touched, ever since that captain person tried to weft his way into our locality, despite being at least three sheets to the wind.

One day I’ll find out what in this pseudo-causal universe I’ve done to deserve you.

Not from me, Jaysian. Why spoil a good timeline?

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