I really felt very *submerged* (sorry) from the get go- so many questions.
I dive, or at least I dove before I had kids, so I like this angle on a dystopia, because when you are down there, under the water, it's so eerie and immersive and it's really like an alien planet. Everything feels off. Time goes slower. The sounds are so...strange.
The way his partner grabs his mask, telling him to calm down felt very real to me.
I also thought it felt quite...sad? Like just the imagery was pretty devastating.
Honestly? Because a man wrote it and there is not too much in the way of confirming one way or the other. So if this is a woman- it wouldn't surprise me necessarily- but with male writers I assume male narrator until told otherwise.
Whether that's right or wrong I'm not sure but that's the truth!
Like, I do think of Ripley in Alien, who was written as a male character- but she works obviously- she's an excellent character.
Always appreciate honest critique. That’s really interesting to hear. I have targeted the novel with some commercial reality in mind. Writing from a different gender’s perspective is challenging, but I seem to make a habit of it (= can’t keep from trouble). This protagonist takes inspiration from Halo Jones, Katniss Everdeen, Camina Drummer, Lisbeth Salander… – ‘vulnerable badass’ would be a very superficial tag. Plus, I stuck to rules like “no phones, no guns, no blasphemy and no tea”. I very much hope the character is realistic and intriguing enough for you to enjoy her journey.
Well they seem realistic so far, a promising start for sure- I think a mistake that people make is making gender *too* obvious. I don't think that's what happens in our heads. Like, I don't really think about being a woman until I am faced with it in some way, like feeling unsafe in certain situations. Otherwise, I'm just a person. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Thank you for reading it, Claudia. I've redrafted the beginning so many times. Prologues often get a bad press, so I'm pleased this one does the job, hopefully without hindering the pace.
Yes, will be doing this. I thought best to apply a 'soft' launch as I'm also working on standardising the chapters look. navigation etc and getting used to the rhythm of twice weekly publishing. Swan above the surface, gerbil below it!
Looks good so far imho. And of course now I understand why you were asking the chatbot about the pros and cons of new section vs. new stack. In this instance I think you made the right decision to have it as a new publication - it means you can add other sections for meta-narrative purposes, and define the paid-subs better, as you have done.
In my case, I shall probably stick with the new section. Reflects the cluttered nature of my brain better.
I'm sure you'll be ok with the twice weekly publishing if you've already finished writing & editing the whole thing. Gives you more time for the meta stuff. I've got about 3 more weeks' worth of 'it's fine as it is' before I have to do more editing and write extra bits. I envy your organisational abilities...
I'm starting at the beginning.
I really felt very *submerged* (sorry) from the get go- so many questions.
I dive, or at least I dove before I had kids, so I like this angle on a dystopia, because when you are down there, under the water, it's so eerie and immersive and it's really like an alien planet. Everything feels off. Time goes slower. The sounds are so...strange.
The way his partner grabs his mask, telling him to calm down felt very real to me.
I also thought it felt quite...sad? Like just the imagery was pretty devastating.
Thank you so much, Laura, for taking the time to begin. In here, I'm a dystopian me, so joy is indeed lacking.
I haven't scuba dived, but I read the US Navy's Diving Manual cover to cover to ensure realism. Yes, the madness enchroached...
Hopefully, your many questions will be answered if you continue.
One question from me, if I may: what in this prologue made you think 'his' and not 'her'? DM if you prefer.
Honestly? Because a man wrote it and there is not too much in the way of confirming one way or the other. So if this is a woman- it wouldn't surprise me necessarily- but with male writers I assume male narrator until told otherwise.
Whether that's right or wrong I'm not sure but that's the truth!
Like, I do think of Ripley in Alien, who was written as a male character- but she works obviously- she's an excellent character.
Always appreciate honest critique. That’s really interesting to hear. I have targeted the novel with some commercial reality in mind. Writing from a different gender’s perspective is challenging, but I seem to make a habit of it (= can’t keep from trouble). This protagonist takes inspiration from Halo Jones, Katniss Everdeen, Camina Drummer, Lisbeth Salander… – ‘vulnerable badass’ would be a very superficial tag. Plus, I stuck to rules like “no phones, no guns, no blasphemy and no tea”. I very much hope the character is realistic and intriguing enough for you to enjoy her journey.
Well they seem realistic so far, a promising start for sure- I think a mistake that people make is making gender *too* obvious. I don't think that's what happens in our heads. Like, I don't really think about being a woman until I am faced with it in some way, like feeling unsafe in certain situations. Otherwise, I'm just a person. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Yes, people are people, wherever they be, so why should we treat them all differently? (apols to Môde devotees)
Thank you, Nichole! It's great to know my writing gripped you, and I hope the following chapters are equally enticing.
I was riveted! I’m excited to read more.
Intriguing start! It hooked me.
Thank you, Noor! Its job is done.😋
I hope you enjoy the subsequent chapters as much, if not more.
Great start, Johnathan! Loved how you introduced the main character and her plight.
Thank you for reading it, Claudia. I've redrafted the beginning so many times. Prologues often get a bad press, so I'm pleased this one does the job, hopefully without hindering the pace.
You’ve done a fantastic job 👏!
This is a good intro - definitely worth a re-stack now I've read the next two parts...
I hope you do well with this Johnathan. I think it deserves it from what I've seen so far...
Yes, will be doing this. I thought best to apply a 'soft' launch as I'm also working on standardising the chapters look. navigation etc and getting used to the rhythm of twice weekly publishing. Swan above the surface, gerbil below it!
Looks good so far imho. And of course now I understand why you were asking the chatbot about the pros and cons of new section vs. new stack. In this instance I think you made the right decision to have it as a new publication - it means you can add other sections for meta-narrative purposes, and define the paid-subs better, as you have done.
In my case, I shall probably stick with the new section. Reflects the cluttered nature of my brain better.
I'm sure you'll be ok with the twice weekly publishing if you've already finished writing & editing the whole thing. Gives you more time for the meta stuff. I've got about 3 more weeks' worth of 'it's fine as it is' before I have to do more editing and write extra bits. I envy your organisational abilities...