You open the doors to the FMC’s chaotic and nuanced mind wide for readers, she’s complex and emotional, but also fully aware and determined, taking responsibility for her own actions and her impact on her world. Too many characters with this much emotional depth, fall into a heap of childish mess - but you’ve nailed it so far.
Also, I get a sense the first paragraph was intentionally worded suggestively, HOWEVER it didn’t fall away as if you used the imagery just as a tool either, you’ve followed through and planted seeds of relational/romantic complexity throughout - your portrayal of Tom’s interaction with the FMC is beautifully masculine and grounding, AND yet another thing she’s fully aware of - unlike many FMC’s of a same age within the genre.
(If you have any recommendations for similarly complex females in sci-fi, I’m all ears!)
Your approach is divine, Johnathan. I’m excited to read more.
Thank you for reading it, Claudia. I've redrafted the beginning so many times. Prologues often get a bad press, so I'm pleased this one does the job, hopefully without hindering the pace.
Yes, will be doing this. I thought best to apply a 'soft' launch as I'm also working on standardising the chapters look. navigation etc and getting used to the rhythm of twice weekly publishing. Swan above the surface, gerbil below it!
Looks good so far imho. And of course now I understand why you were asking the chatbot about the pros and cons of new section vs. new stack. In this instance I think you made the right decision to have it as a new publication - it means you can add other sections for meta-narrative purposes, and define the paid-subs better, as you have done.
In my case, I shall probably stick with the new section. Reflects the cluttered nature of my brain better.
I'm sure you'll be ok with the twice weekly publishing if you've already finished writing & editing the whole thing. Gives you more time for the meta stuff. I've got about 3 more weeks' worth of 'it's fine as it is' before I have to do more editing and write extra bits. I envy your organisational abilities...
This is a powerful intro Johnathan!
You open the doors to the FMC’s chaotic and nuanced mind wide for readers, she’s complex and emotional, but also fully aware and determined, taking responsibility for her own actions and her impact on her world. Too many characters with this much emotional depth, fall into a heap of childish mess - but you’ve nailed it so far.
Also, I get a sense the first paragraph was intentionally worded suggestively, HOWEVER it didn’t fall away as if you used the imagery just as a tool either, you’ve followed through and planted seeds of relational/romantic complexity throughout - your portrayal of Tom’s interaction with the FMC is beautifully masculine and grounding, AND yet another thing she’s fully aware of - unlike many FMC’s of a same age within the genre.
(If you have any recommendations for similarly complex females in sci-fi, I’m all ears!)
Your approach is divine, Johnathan. I’m excited to read more.
Thank you, Nichole! It's great to know my writing gripped you, and I hope the following chapters are equally enticing.
I was riveted! I’m excited to read more.
Intriguing start! It hooked me.
Thank you, Noor! Its job is done.😋
I hope you enjoy the subsequent chapters as much, if not more.
Great start, Johnathan! Loved how you introduced the main character and her plight.
Thank you for reading it, Claudia. I've redrafted the beginning so many times. Prologues often get a bad press, so I'm pleased this one does the job, hopefully without hindering the pace.
You’ve done a fantastic job 👏!
This is a good intro - definitely worth a re-stack now I've read the next two parts...
I hope you do well with this Johnathan. I think it deserves it from what I've seen so far...
Yes, will be doing this. I thought best to apply a 'soft' launch as I'm also working on standardising the chapters look. navigation etc and getting used to the rhythm of twice weekly publishing. Swan above the surface, gerbil below it!
Looks good so far imho. And of course now I understand why you were asking the chatbot about the pros and cons of new section vs. new stack. In this instance I think you made the right decision to have it as a new publication - it means you can add other sections for meta-narrative purposes, and define the paid-subs better, as you have done.
In my case, I shall probably stick with the new section. Reflects the cluttered nature of my brain better.
I'm sure you'll be ok with the twice weekly publishing if you've already finished writing & editing the whole thing. Gives you more time for the meta stuff. I've got about 3 more weeks' worth of 'it's fine as it is' before I have to do more editing and write extra bits. I envy your organisational abilities...